Mom talk

I’m going to start by saying that from this point on, I’m going to have a lot of my opinions in this post.  It’s an opinion.  You don’t have to agree, you don’t have to disagree, if you don’t like it then don’t keep reading, if you feel the need to comment something nasty it will be deleted.  I get that everyone has their own opinions and their own experiences and that is what makes getting to know people so great. No one is going to be the same and I am no exception to that rule.  However, if you are offended, then do me a favor and instead of telling me what a shitty person I am, just click away from my site and don’t return.

For many of you, this will come as a shock.  I have a child.  An amazing little girl who recently turned five.  For those of you just finding out now, surprise!  Somehow I was able to keep it secret from you for over five years which probably means we weren’t very close to begin with AND odds are I didn’t trust you with that information.  “Well that’s a rude and strange thing to say”.  Why yes, yes it is.

For years, I didn’t want anyone to find out I had a child.  Was I ashamed?  Well in a way yes, and in a way no.  I was pretty young when I had her and I didn’t like the assumptions that came with being a young mom.  We are treated differently from other mom’s and it sucks.  I’m the youngest mom in my child’s class, not by much, but enough where it makes being around for anything really weird.  Part of it was an overprotection thing.  For a long time, I was paranoid about all the things that could hurt her and anyone who saw her picture who might use it for themselves.  I was sickened to think that there could be people out there who would want to hurt her, use her against me, steal her from me, anything.  I guess that’s where that stereotype that mom’s always think that you are dead.  Now I get it.

As I’ve grown older, I have realized that I can’t protect her from everything.  While it is up to my judgement who can be in her life right now, it won’t always be that way.  She will have to stand on her own and the sooner I can accept that, the better I can be with her as I get older.  Or so I hope.  There is no book out there telling you how to do things or how to run your life.  There are suggestions.  So if that’s the case, how can you raise your child?  To the best of your ability, that’s how.

If you as a mom have had doubts about yourself, or if you just need reassurance, then remember that you are trying the best you can.  Even if you’re not, it’s okay.  We all have days where we can’t be supermom.  We are going to yell, scream cry, right there along with our kids and sometimes that’s just how it’s going to be.  The only thing you can do is to go to sleep and wake up the next day aiming to be better than the last.  We are all just wafting through this and together, we can hopefully bring our kids out on the other side okay.  Keep your head up, you got this.


The Cat’s Pajamas weren’t really that cool…

WOOOOOW.  So I started this book two years ago thinking that, “Hey this book is actually kind of short. I’ll be able to finish it really quickly.”  BOY WAS I WRONG.  Here we are two years later and I am only just starting my review….

So (excuse time), I got the book and I was so amped to read it (I really wasn’t…. but that has nothing to do with the book or the author and everything to do with what was going on in my life at the time).  I got distracted by a lot of drama and ended up setting it down somewhere and losing it.  A couple months later, I found it and tried picking it up again only to have more of life’s drama hit me and lose it again.  I was in the middle of a divorce process and moving process and I was looking at what I should get rid of and I found the book again.  I put it in the “ship” pile and off it went to another state.  Several months later (and a divorce and state move later), I found my boxes and started unpacking.  I eventually found the book again, only for it to end up in another box because I didn’t have a book shelf (so it got lost again). AT THIS POINT, I seriously debated just picking up a copy from the library and sitting down and finishing it in a night or two (I mean come on…).  EVENTUALLY, I got a book shelf and I was able to find the book again and pick it up again (only to lose it every time I set it down).

After all that, I was expecting this book to be amazing and wonderful and something that I would have been able to recommend to anyone saying “Oh my goodness, this book was amazing, it went through hell and back with me”, but in reality it was kind of a let down. This book follows three different story lines (though honestly it feels like more from the different points of view that aren’t always coming from the three/four main characters) and their day and how they all end up at the Cat’s Pajamas at 2.A.M.

Not only was the book on the confusing side, it wasn’t the ending I wanted it to have.  Maybe the ending was supposed to be a metaphor for something that I just didn’t understand, but it didn’t match the story that proceeded it. The ending for all three characters were all really sad and disappointing.  I was hoping that through all the misfortune they were going through, they would at least have some happy endings, but I was wrong.  It was a bit of a downer and I read to escape reality, not be forced to read about harsh reality.

I would give this book a two out of five, simply because it wasn’t for me.  I’m sure for someone else it would have been a great read, but for me it was a little too close to reality for my liking.

Buy the book

Author Bio

I received this book from Blogging for Books for the review

Sanguine Moon Review

I want to start off with saying thank you to Jennifer Foxcroft for the copy of Sanguine Moon in the beautiful packaging and giving me the opportunity to read and review this book on my time.  I really appreciate it and it was a fantastic read that I always recommend when anyone comes to me for book requests.

I received this book sometime back in March and I had started it almost right away and then put it down for a while because life happens.  I was in the middle of my divorce proceedings and in the process of getting rid of a lot of my possessions in the process of moving states.  It was quite the time for me and I really had a lot on my mind.  When I finally moved back to California, I had a lot going on as well.  I had to figure out who I was and find a way to be myself again.  I eventually picked it up again and at a perfect time.

Although I didn’t have quite the same experience as Connie, I did go through something very similar.  While I wouldn’t necessarily call it a break up, I did lose a very close friend who I have loved and cared about for many years.  I happened to get to the point where Connie was forced to make a powerful decision of self love and to stand by her morals as well as listening to her feelings.  The crushing ache of losing someone you care about because it isn’t something you believe in was too familiar.  The horrible reality of wanting contact that you know isn’t good for you was too familiar.  To say that this book hit home for all the right reasons is an understatement.

I love reading books with strong female characters who know their minds and hearts and won’t fall for the guy and put those wants and morals at risk.  Connie was one of the stronger women that I love reading about.  Not only did she end her relationship with Rocks because she would not stand for her morals being put on the side, she did not involve him in her personal life more than she thought was necessary, on top of telling him that she needed some time to heal.  Talk about a strong high schooler.  I struggle every day with not talking to my now-not-friend and I always want to tell my not-friend what’s going on with me and my life and it’s always a battle I fear I’m going to lose.  I’ve picked up this book on more than one occasion and thought that I need to be strong like Connie and that is what gets me through my day.

My one major complaint with this book is the ending.  A cliffhanger? Really? Why you gotta be like that??? I hate cliffhangers, literally, only because I want to be able to know how it ends.  You’d think by now I would have known not to start a series that I know doesn’t have an end, but I can’t help myself. This is one of those series that I will always love and recommend to anyone getting started in reading.

The Camazotz Trilogy is an amazing trilogy written by the amazing Indie author, Jennifer Foxcroft.  You should definitely pick up the first copy if you have never heard of it before and find out yourself exactly how great this series is.

Follow Jennifer Foxcroft on Twitter at @msjenfoxcroft

Conditioner? Yes, No, Maybe? It’s just hair right?

You know those weird shower thoughts you have when you least expect it? For some reason, conditioner set off one of mine. I remember one of my most looked up to high school teachers talking to us about hair products one day before we got to our lecture. He mentioned he only had shampoo and soap because he didn’t believe conditioner actually did anything for your hair. “Why would I put shampoo in my hair to wash out all the oils and dirt just to put more oil, conditioner, in my hair. It’s pointless there’s no reason to put it in my hair at that point.” Like any impressionable teenager, I took these words to heart and stopped using conditioner in my hair. 

Why do we do that? Or is this just something that I do/did in my lifetime? Why is it that we take something that one person says and we don’t even bother to check the facts or even try things for ourselves to see if there true? I’ll give my teenage self some benefit of the doubt and claim that I was impressionable and he was one of my favorite teachers, but still. I didn’t even bother looking up what the benefits of conditioner are or even if there were any. I took his word as law and that was that. Sadly, I’ve noticed this is a fairly common thing in this day and age when it comes to any information or there. For example, I was talking to my much younger sister and she asked me about the elections and why I didn’t vote. I didn’t give her the bullshit answer of my vote doesn’t matter speech, but I did tell her that I did in fact support a specific candidate over others and that my candidate won my state. Then she told me something interesting. “I hate Trump” alright that’s fine. Why? “I don’t know. But everyone I know says he’s a racist” huh. Now whether or not he is isn’t the point of this. What I got from this was my sister heard something and instead of looking up information about it, she took that as the truth and started telling people she knew about it. 
Has my generation and the generations below mine really act like the stereotype that everyone believes we are? After having several conversations with different people I’m starting to think so. We aren’t all like this and to assume that we are all the same is sad. The only thing we can do, in my opinion, is learn from it. We as a whole must learn to not just go with whatever someone else tells you or some random article you read on Facebook, but to go out and support facts as true as we can or can find out. There’s always going to be someone else out there who will be PC, but it’s time to change the way of things and start experimenting with conditioner. 

For those of you interested, I started using conditioner again when I finally realised that conditioner kept my hair healthy and thick instead of brittle and dead. What are the odds? Trial and error and learning what works for me. 

Illuminae Review. Too lazy to come up with a better title

So I read this one for a book club and didn’t realize there was a lot of hype surrounding the book until after I read all the reviews for it online.  I didn’t really participate in the group discussion for the chapters (BIG SURPRISE THERE RIGHT???) though I did agree with some people, I feel like this was either a book that you loved or you hated and there was no in between unless you really had no opinion one way or another.

I fall into the I didn’t hate it, I didn’t adore it, I’d read the next one, but I don’t know if I’d buy it for it to take a place on my shelf.  A book has to be pretty special to make it on to my shelf i.e. The Deanna Madden Series.

Totally went off on a tangent, but anyway… there was a lot of hype surrounding the book and although I loved the idea of the book and I loved the way the book was written, I wouldn’t go as far to say that it was the best book I’ve read all year.  I think the writing style was one of the main issues that people had with this book.  For one, if you are not used to reading books that are entirely composed of emails, IM’s, etc, you probably won’t like this book because there is very little character development and the main character is a very suspicious person who does not want to be found or figured out.  So ya there is little character development for her.  She doesn’t want you to know who she is and I think she did a pretty good job with that.  Her boyfriend on the other hand was an open book which is why everyone seemed to love him.

I think if I had never read a book that was composed entirely of emails before I wouldn’t have known how to read this or how it would turn out.  Unless there is a “paper trail” of what was said and done behind the scenes of whatever you are reading there will be little to no way to know what happened when the character steps away from the computer screen.  That being said, I have read a book that was similar to this one and I actually really enjoyed the way that was written, which is probably one of the many reasons why I liked this book

WOW I really need to start writing reviews again.. my thoughts are all over the place…

ANYWAY… I think the only thing that did not thrill me about this book was the execution.  There was a lot of potential and a lot of new elements and styles of writing that could have been executed a little better.  I think there could have been more focus on plot and less focus on an attempt at character development.

Overall I think that the book was pretty good and I will probably read the second one when it come out…

Recommended for anyone that enjoys a little bit of young adult, romance, mild language, and text conversations.  Ages 13+

Do Not Disturb. No really. Trust me. You don’t want to do it.

In the lovely second installment of the Deanna Madden series comes DO NOT DISTURB and I was not disappointed.  For those of you who read the first one and weren’t sure what to expect with the second one, you get a closer look at Deanna’s life and all the secrets and lies that she tries to deal with  now that she’s had a taste of the outside world.

Following The Girl in 6E, Deanna tries to test her limits of control and her growing relationship with Jeremy.  Personally, I loved this one just as much as the first one and I loved how Deanna is still being tested on her control.  I figured that the idea of Deanna would not go further than that of the first book, but I was wrong.  I also figured that there wouldn’t be more sides to Deanna than that of a psychopathic bad ass, but there are actually more layers that are added to Deanna’s character in this book than there was in the first.

I saw a few reviews out there that complained about a slow start, and while I don’t share that particular opinion, I can see why they wold say that.  Compared to the first book, the second is lacking in the door busting start and focusing more on character development and setting up a plot line that is different from the first.  You get a closer look at Deanna’s life and how she was able to set herself up where she is and being able to do the things that she does and how she is able to survive in the conditions she does.

I think my only issue with this one was the way that she kept Jeremy at such an arms length with the lack of information that he actually got swept up in a way that could have been avoided.  Communication is everything when it comes to relationships and this one is going to be in for a really bumpy ride if it continues that way it’s going.  I would hate to see them apart considering how much I like Jeremy.  Hopefully things turn out for the better?

Would I recommend? Yes but only to those who don’t mind a little bit of raunchy mixed in with a bit of violence.  There’s also some issue with mild language and there are some rape mentions which could trigger some people. Other than that go for it.  I would recommend reading the first one though to see if you like this style of book before getting into this one.

Overall opinion. Loved it. Loved Deanna. Loved the story line.  Loved the characters and the differences between the first and the second.  Can’t wait to see more of Deanna in the next book 5/5